Erection problems on your sexual horizon?
In real life, men are not sex machines as portrayed on the silver screen and can, one day or another, experience erection problems. Almost one out of every three men admits to having erection issues “from time to time”. So what can be done if you get an erection malfunction?
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Any general slump in wellbeing can have repercussions in the bedroom, no matter what your age! Accumulated physical fatigue, heightened emotions when with a new partner, performance anxiety (will I be a good lover?), professional or personal worries, anxiety, stress, a tipple too many... all reasons which can mean you're "not in the mood" and your body shows it or betrays you at the last minute and sells you out.
The trick lies in recognising and rapidly dealing with the problem to ensure it doesn’t happen again...
What can a man do about an erection problem?
First and foremost, reassure yourself that very similar things also happen to women, they are just less visible! When it happens, instead of focussing on your lack of erection, move back to foreplay.
This little “interruption” could reboot your arousal and get you back on the right track. You could also ask your partner to help out (by touch or oral sex for example) if you are able to relax enough to actually enjoy it. With age, men (as do women) need more sexual stimulation. It can take more time for an erection to appear and last. Yet some couples gloss over foreplay, which can be enough to cause an erection to wane or not appear at all.
Despite lavishing care and attention in all the right ways and places, still nothing seems to make a difference? Forget the idea of penetration this time round. Beating yourself up about it, getting tense and annoyed will only make your chances of succeeding less and less likely. Things will be much better in the morning... so good even that you’ll be able to show what you’re capable of!
But that doesn’t mean just turning over and going to sleep either. You can still provide pleasure – a lot of pleasure – and can still offer an orgasm to your partner thanks to some tender touch and loving kisses. Leave her with a night to remember and no regrets!
Whatever happens, it's important not to make a drama out of the situation: these things happen and you shouldn’t start to imagine that your entire sex life is in peril with “it’s a downhill slope from here onwards” thoughts! On the contrary, the more you worry, the more you'll be stressed the next time round, with the risk of affecting your performance once again. Forget about it, banish the thought from your head and relax so that you are ready start again when the moment ‘arises’!
What can a woman do about an erection problem?
The first and foremost thing to remember ladies: Play.It.Down. Occasional erection failures do happen, but it doesn’t mean he’s any less of a man or that you’ve lost your sex appeal! Don’t pressure him by putting on a performance trying to coax an erection at all costs, otherwise he’ll feel worse if it doesn’t work. But don’t let him think you’re not bothered either as he could take that to mean that you’re actually relieved that he’s no good in bed.
Reassure him that you still find him attractive and desirable. And above all, without making it obvious or talking about it, keep an eye on things.
If you notice that erection difficulties are becoming repetitive, advise (not nag!) him to consult a specialist rapidly (sexologist, urologist), even offering to go with him if he wants. Explain that the more recent a sexual problem, the better it is treated. It could help him to avoid the obsessive vicious circle that could prevent the issue from being resolved.
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 16.02.2011
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