Erection problems: How should women react?
How do you react when he's having problems keeping an erection? Is it the result of a lack of desire? Dr Sylvain Mimoun, an andrologist, gynaecologist and psychosomatic specialist, tells us more about erectile dysfunction and the differences between the erection and male sexual desire.
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Doctissimo: How do women react when men suffer erection problems?
Dr Sylvain Mimoun: When they are with a man who loses his erection or who has trouble getting an erection, many women put it down to a lack of desire. Women need to feel desired sexually, and if a man does not get an erection, she will think that he doesn’t want her, and that she is unattractive.
Doctissimo: Is lack of desire behind these little hitches?
Dr Sylvain Mimoun: The first thing you need to know is that the erection is not synonymous with desire. If a man has trouble with his erection, it absolutely does not mean he doesn’t want to make love. This miscommunication is often the source of problems in the couple, where he says “But I really want you”, and she replies “Well, evidently not!” But it is actually not that straightforward.
Failure to maintain an erection is down to a lack of arousal which can be caused by a number of different reasons, sometimes physical and sometimes due to medication or some other factor completely unrelated to desire. But it is absolutely not a sign that the man does not fancy the woman.
Doctissimo: What is the best approach to take in this situation?
Dr Sylvain Mimoun: If a woman concentrates on her own desire, and forgets about her man for a minute, things will automatically improve. This means her desire takes centre stage, not his erectile problems. The fact that she is now in the limelight, means a woman’s desire can arouse her man and if she gets his blood flowing, there’s a chance that the erection will manifest itself. As a woman, what you must not do is put your partner under pressure and accuse him.
Doctissimo: What other mistakes should you avoid?
Dr Sylvain Mimoun: Women often want their partners to be more affectionate. On the rare occasions when men show affection, it is at these moments. This means they want to compensate for their failures by caressing you. Women who like these gestures of affection during foreplay might say: “No, I don’t want this as a substitute for sex.” Here, they are setting the bar high for men, which is ultimately a disaster for both partners. Finally, if a man finds himself in this situation, it is definitely worth consulting an expert so he can try and avoid reexperiencing the same problems in the future.
Copyright © Doctissimo 2012
Posted 24.08.2012
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