Men's sexuality questions
“Am I good enough in bed?” “I don’t know if my partner reaches orgasm”, “Does the fact that I’ve been circumcised alter the pleasure my partner gets?” A lot of men hide their fears and worries about sex underneath a veneer of self-confidence. Here, a sex specialist answers their questions.
1. I’ve always thought that my penis is too small. It’s 12 cm when it’s erect. Who should I speak to about making it bigger?
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You can’t really increase the size of your penis. There are surgical operations that make the penis look bigger. The suspensory ligament of the penis is cut and, free from this attachment, there’s more of the penis on the outside of your body so it appears longer. Another method is to remove the fat under the skin at the base of the penis. But the size of the penis will not be different when it’s erect.
Some Internet sites are offering scandalous techniques capitalising on internet users’ gullibility and making them believe that they only have to do exercises or use methods which stretch the penis and it will get bigger. This cannot work! The penis cavities are not flexible and cannot change size.
2. I’ve got spots on my penis. There are some really tiny ones on the tip of my penis, and other spots that look like acne on other parts of the penis and the scrotum. What are they?
These two types of spots are very common and not serious. First of all, they aren’t really spots on the tip of your penis but a natural secretion of the sebaceous glands, which can have a bad smell. It’s important to pull back the foreskin from the glans and wash it every day.
As for the penis and the scrotum, these small white spots under the skin are sebaceous cysts and aren’t serious.
3. For several months now, I’ve been having fewer morning erections. Is this a sign of an illness or the start of erection problems?
The morning erection that men notice when they wake up is actually just the last erection of the night. During certain phases of their sleep, men have natural erections, no doubt there to irrigate the penis. But these erections aren’t permanent. They last for between 10 to 30 minutes and occur 3 or 4 times a night.
If you aren’t noticing any more erections, it’s no doubt because you’re not waking up at the time they’re happening. You can rest assured that there’s nothing wrong with you.
4. I was circumcised as a child and I’m wondering if this will interfere in my sex life. Will it affect the pleasure my partner gets or my own pleasure?
Circumcision is an operation where the foreskin is removed. This piece of skin covering the glans contains a lot of nerve endings and it protects the glans and keeps it sensitive. The foreskin plays a mechanical role in sex and makes it comfortable for both partners.
Luckily, a person’s sex-life doesn’t boil down to the sensitivity of the glans, far from it! Researchers asked both circumcised and uncircumcised men and their partners about their sexual satisfaction and they didn’t find any differences between the two groups.
5. I can’t tell if my partner is really having an orgasm. I’m afraid that she is faking it. What can I do to find out the truth?
Have you talked to her about it? That’s got to be the best way of finding out. You’re frightened that she’s pretending. Why would she pretend? Perhaps because she feels that this is really important to you and she doesn’t want to disappoint you. Your question leads me to think that this is a difficult thing for both of you to talk about. Do you want to give her pleasure or perform well?
Only an atmosphere of trust when you talk will lift your doubts and allow your partner the freedom to express herself.
6. I’d like to know how I can really give a woman pleasure.
Not all women have the same needs. There are many who complain that foreplay is too short so spending time lavishing them with caresses and receiving lots in return would be Rule Number 1. Next be attentive to the other person and this dialogue will do the rest. That being said, the man can’t be held totally responsible for his partner’s pleasure. The woman needs to be actively involved in her own pleasure.
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Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 28.07.2010
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