Too much stress is not too good for sex
The stresses of the daily life of women aged between 30 and 45 can easily lead to depression and a drop in sexual libido. Thankfully, there are things that can be done to stop sex life suffering the effects of a hectic and demanding lifestyle...
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Sophie is on the go all day long. What with the kids, her job, the house and the shopping, it’s not that easy to be 'super lover' when night falls. Nothing serious she thinks, she’s just tired out once everything's in order and doesn’t have enough energy to feel desire.
Work, work and no desire to play...
“Who hasn’t felt like Sophie?” asks sexologist Marie Hélène Colson. Sophie is pretty similar to many women out there and these issues are a frequent reason for consultation. It’s usually active urban women aged between 30 and 45, who have two young children and a house to keep. “They generally don’t understand where their drop in libido comes from, why they don’t reach orgasm more than once every three times”.
Fatigue and latent depression in the face of heavy responsibility leads to decreased sexual desire and difficulty in reaching orgasm. As for stress, everyone is capable of adapting to one or two emotionally-draining events such as marriage or bereavement... But when these events accumulate and take place over a long period of time, it’s impossible to not be deeply affected. Stress can then become the doorway to depression.
"Being stressed or depressed as a reason for their drop in libido is almost never noticed by women," explains Colson, “they don’t make the connection between their hectic and overly-demanding lifestyles and their sex issues.”
Tips for overcoming stress
There are things you can do to reduce your overall stress when the situation isn’t too serious.
- Firstly, be aware that you can’t be ‘superwoman’; you can’t be perfect at everything. This helps to kill two birds with one stone - you become more tolerant with yourself, imposing fewer restrictions and you find time to calm things down, thus a chance to be less stressed and tired.
- In practice, you need to choose where to be less involved. For one woman, that can mean spending less time on cleaning, for another, it can mean sharing out the chores with her partner, or even reducing the children’s activities or family obligations...
- Another important aspect is accepting to take time to refocus on your relationship. “Women need to spend time with their partner before sex," explains Dr. Colson. “Going off on a romantic weekend for two is often a good way to do so". It can indeed be difficult to switch into ‘sex’ mode if your partner drops the TV remote control and heads straight for bed.
Many antidepressants decrease libido
When depression is a significant issue, little changes are no longer useful and antidepressant medication is often needed. However for most part, these substances also have a negative effect on libido. Most make orgasm difficult, some cause vaginal dryness and others cause both. Basically, a libido already decreased by depression is further worsened by medicinal treatment of the depression.
“It’s important to set priorities," warns Dr. Colson. “First, the depression itself needs to be treated. When the person has recovered their vitality, we can then help to recover their sex life".
One of the initial signs of any depression, in either women or men, can be a drop in libido. Give it some thought…
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 17.01.2011
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