Revitalize your libido

Is your libido flagging? Are you feeling ground down by routine? Can you remember the last time you made love? Doctissmo reveals some of the possible challenges to your dwindling libido and suggests how to kick start it again.

Libido challenge 1: your partner isn’t willing

You’re up for it, but they aren’t. It’s not because of you, that they’re distant. Perhaps they’re worried. The best thing is just to talk about it. But be careful, there’s a time and a place for everything. Bed isn’t always the ideal place to raise such a delicate subject. If, after several attempts, your partner is still reluctant to talk, arrange a romantic evening for the two of you, so that you can find out what’s bothering them.

Libido challenge 2: your bed just isn’t sexy

Bed is a place to sleep and make love. And that’s it. The laptop, the television, the telephone, all that overdue work… they don’t belong in the bedroom. They all distract from your love life and interfere with your libido. Stop these bad habits; reclaim your bed for its intended use: for resting and for making love.

Libido challenge 3: you’ve lost confidence

You’re slightly overweight; you never managed to shed those extra pounds. It’s a big deal for you but not for your partner. How can you be attractive if you’ve got poor self image? What’s important to you is often irrelevant to your partner. Ask them what they find attractive about you. You’ll be surprised at the lovely things they have to say. And it’s always nice to receive compliments.

Libido challenge 4: you’re over-loaded

Work, children, shopping, cooking, housework, bills and gardening… Do you ever get any time for yourself? You’re stressed out; you feel as if you’re drowning and out of control. In the evening, you fall asleep during a film or you go to bed early with a headache. Stop over doing it. You need to sort out your priorities and your relationship is one of them. Set aside some time just for the two of you.  

Libido challenge 5: your medication

Oral contraceptives don’t have the same effect on all women. It’s ironic that the pill, the symbol of sexual liberation, can wreak such havoc on your libido and your hormonal cycle. The same thing can often happen with other medications, for example hormone replacement therapy, prescribed during the menopause. To find out about the effects of medication on your libido, you should discuss it with your GP.

Libido challenge 6: tired or depressed?

Tiredness and depression can directly affect hormones and your libido. Think about it; work out how you really feel. Perhaps you make love less often because you have less energy. Go and talk to your GP who’ll be able to tell if it’s underlying depression or a problem with fatigue. 

Sarah Lainé

Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo

Posted 19.07.2010

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