Don’t be afraid of consulting a sex therapist
Magazines are full of headlines about G-spots, orgasms for all and the like – with sexuality morphed into an easy to access consumer product.
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Some people suffer from very real sexual problems that can give way to relationship issues and personal anguish. “10 tips to a mind-blowing orgasm” from Cosmo are not going to be enough to help such a person, and a professional sex therapist should be consulted.
The scientific study of human sexuality began in the 19th century, but didn’t really get into treating sexual disorders until the 70s – in the heady days of the sexual revolution. Things have come a long way and today even the World Health Organization (WHO) recognises that: “Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence”.
Thanks to the ground-breaking work of sexologists such as Masters and Johnson, Kinsey and Hite, a lot more is known about the intricacies and function of human sexuality – and in particular the problems surrounding it. Today, there is no need to suffer in silence or shame – a body of professionals is out there waiting to help you back to a satisfied and satisfying sex life – sex therapists.
Why would I need to see a sex therapist?
A lack of libido, ejaculation problems, penetration problems or a lack of sexual pleasure are very real problems and can put a couple’s relationship at risk. Overcoming one’s reticence and making an appointment to see a clinical sexologist or a sex therapist is often the first step towards finding the cause, and hopefully the cure, for such problems.
You should start off by having a chat with your GP, who can then refer you on to a sex therapist if you both feel that it would be useful. Depending on the problem, your GP may also refer you to a genitourinary clinic, a gynaecologist or an urologist. Speaking to your GP about sex therapy may also be useful in helping you find a sex therapist on the NHS, which unfortunately is sometimes difficult to find.
Today’s sex therapist is a trained professional having completed studies as a doctor, nurse, psychologist, psychiatrist counsellor or clinical social worker, and followed by a specialised course in sexual or relationship therapy. In the UK, The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) helps maintain the professional standards, offering training courses to members, a list of registered therapists and useful information on common sexual problems, choosing a therapist and what you can expect from them.
Sex therapy in practice
In general, it is best to visit a sex therapist or clinical sexologist as a couple. However, this is sometimes difficult if one partner feels they are ‘to blame’ for the problem and so they may be seen separately to begin with. During the first meeting, the sex therapist will try to understand the problem by examining your health and relationship history, carry out an examination if necessary (if the therapist is qualified to do this), and then discuss possible treatments and a further course of therapeutic action.
For some organic sexual disorders such as micropenis, vaginal dryness, genital deformities etc., surgery or medication may be required and so the therapist will refer you back to your GP or on to another specialist accordingly (if you weren't originally referred by your GP). There’s a wide range of medication available to treat various sexual disorders, including hormone therapy and antidepressants…
In all cases, your sexual therapist will take a holistic approach, looking at both the physical and emotional aspects of the problem. If a sexual problem is predominantly related to a psychological or relationship issue, such as pleasure and libido issues, sexual addiction etc., then psychosexual therapy is recommended and this where both partners may be required to participate.
It takes two to have a fulfilled sexual relationship and while one partner may well have the ‘problem’, the other could unknowingly be doing things that either provoke or prolong the problem, or by simply understanding the cause of the problem, can actively help their partner.
Depending on each therapist’s given domain of competence, they can make use of a large range of methods, including psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, CBT, hypnosis and relaxation techniques.
The medical profession is much more open and informed regarding sexual problems than even ten years ago, so there really is no need to suffer in silence. Consulting a sex therapist could bring about a radical and positive change to your sex life and relationships, so why not give it a go?
Copyright © 2011 Doctissimo
Posted 02.08.2011
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