Sex: what men really want!

Desire, pleasure, fantasy... men’s sexuality operates in a way that many women would love to understand a little better. So what do men really want?

Forget about sex therapists and other experts and ask the men themselves. In a recent French book, a panel of men answer 100 questions from women about what they like and want from a sexual relationship.

Sexologists and other experts keep on telling us how male sexuality works, but we are still left scratching our heads sometimes… Despite all that’s been said, men still remain a difficult to understand mystery for many women. In a book recently published in France, men have spoken openly about their sexuality… so here’s a few of their answers to your questions.

Men like kissing

• Women’s question: How important is kissing between for men, as it's pretty important for building women’s arousal?

• Men’s answer: In short, the first kiss is a clincher as it can either provoke desire or the exact opposite. The first kiss tells us all about your personality and your sensuality. In general, we’d say that you'll make love in the same way as you kiss. So, more you are gentle, the more we’ll think about you romantically. More your kiss is torrid, then more our feelings will be aflame!
  
  What puts us off with a kiss? Overly hard kissing with your teeth crashing against ours…  What turns us on? You, sliding your tongue gently over your lips, or nibbling on them a little as if you were thinking about something slightly naughty!

What men really don’t like

• Women’s question: Sexually speaking, what is a real turn off for you?

• Men’s answer: If on the first night, she does it all, with all she’s got, everywhere and all the time, which can be a real turn off! A woman should know how to hold back a bit of her mystery and sophistication. On the other hand, complete immobility, or a woman who waits for her orgasm to be served on a platter… not that either. She should move and participate to show us that she wants it too.
  
  To get into some raw detail… some women think that men like a little finger up the back door… but if we haven’t actually asked for it, then it may well not be the case. Same for oral sex: there’s no need to throw yourselves on us like starved animals. In the foreplay department, there are plenty of other things that turn us on.

Men, condoms and sex

• Women’s question: Is it possible to get sexual satisfaction while wearing a condom? Under what conditions?

• Men’s answer: To start off with, don’t just lie there, waiting for us to put on the condom by ourselves. That’s just boring! But if you keep stroking while we put it on, or even better, put it on for us with your hands or mouth – then that’s the best, and we'll be off to a good start!

Men’s favourite positions

• Women’s question: Do you have any favourite positions for lovemaking?

• Men’s answer: On the more classic side, the good old Missionary position is always a winner. The advantage of this position is that it allows us to combine visual and physical pleasure. Being on top, we can see our partner and enjoy her pleasure. It’s also a position that gives us deep penetration and a powerful orgasm.
  
  No 2: The Doggy position, which awakes a more primal dominating feeling, and in which we are in full control of lovemaking rhythm and intensity. 
  
  No 3: The 69er position, the most erotic of all the positions and wonderful as the first act or alternative during lovemaking. This position is exciting because we can get and give pleasure at the same time.

Men and sex talk

• Women’s question: And if we speak during lovemaking, what do you like to hear?

• Men’s answer: Telling us what you want while making love helps us to spice things up, and with a few words you can fuel our pleasure. When body language is accompanied with words, it can only be better. And what to say? Aside from practical information, loving words are welcome to boost intimacy. And if a few ‘dirty’ words slip out now and then, well why not… as long as it’s not systematic.

Men’s fave fantasies

• Women’s question: And what about your sexual fantasies? More strip-tease or a nurse’s uniform?

• Men’s answer: Two fantasy scenarios score high on the barometer of sexual arousal, and we are fantasy-loving beings!  Firstly, if you are nude under a doctor’s coat, sexy underwear for a secretary, pigtailed student, air hostess… and the words and playacting to go with each scenario, we love it!
  
  And secondly, you can also blindfold us, or spread our bodies with whipped cream… whatever! Just about all sexual games that can bring us closer together and spice up our lovemaking are very welcome. We love surprises and can’t wait for the next one you’ve got in store…

"100 questions de femmes sur l'orgasme masculin," Véronique Aïache, Editions Contredire 2012

Catherine Maillard

Copyright © 2012 Doctissimo

Posted 22.01.2012

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