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A 10-point guide to erogenous zones

Erogenous zones. Just thinking about those two tantalising words is enough to turn you on! And that's because, even though we're dealing with bits of the body, sexual arousal begins in the brain.

Erogenous zone guide
© Jupiter

Everyone can enjoy sensual stimulation; you just need to learn how. Read on and learn more about erongenous zones and how it all works.

1. What are the erogenous zones?

Erogenous zones are the parts of the body that are particularly sensitive to touch. This is because they have many more sensory nerve endings. Stimulating these parts of the body, when there is mutual attraction, usually results in strong sensations and sexual excitement.

The entire surface of the skin is erogenously sensitive but some parts of the body have heightened sensitivity. From the head downwards, these are; the lips, ear lobes, the nape of the neck, the armpits, the breasts, the hands, the stomach, the buttocks, the genitals, the perineum, the anus, the inner thighs, the back of the knees and the feet.

2. Are everyone's erogenous zones the same?

Not at all. Although many of the zones may be the same they do vary from individual to individual. So, go and map out your partner's erogenous zones. Ask them what they like, and remember that the way you caress is as important as the caress itself. And don't forget that you can use your hair, your mouth, or any other part of your body, to caress and stimulate their erogenous zones.

3. Do men enjoy having their nipples stimulated?

Both men and women have nipples that are sensitive to touch, and which become hard when stimulated. However, while most women enjoy having their nipples stimulated, not all men do. However, it could be that some men simply haven't tried it, and so don't know what they're missing. Try sucking your partner's nipples, nibbling or stroking them. He's sure to tell you what he thinks.

4. Is foreplay necessary before intercourse?

The male and female body need to be prepared for sexual intercourse or vaginal penetration. Foreplay, while clearly a source of pleasure, actually helps to prepare the body for the subsequent stages of sexual response. Touching and caressing your partner's body triggers a number of physiological reactions: heart rate and breathing increase and the genitals become engorged with blood.

Without foreplay and arousal, there'll be no erection, no vaginal lubrication and, certainly, no orgasm! But remember: everyone is different; some people take longer than others to become aroused while others may have very specific preferences.

5. Why do some people fail to become aroused during foreplay?

The act of touching someone doesn't automatically lead to sexual arousal as the person being touched has to be receptive. First of all, you need to feel comfortable with your partner. This is essential if you're to enjoy the sexual experience. If you're embarrassed you won't be able to appreciate the erotic sensations but it does get easier as you get to know each other. So relax!

Don't forget that sex is meant to be fun; it's not an occasion to be serious. Take your time, talk to each other and enjoy taking it in turns to discover those erogenous zones.

6. Can you be too ticklish to enjoy foreplay?

If you are ticklish, you are often tense during sexual foreplay. If you're feeling relaxed you'll enjoy being caressed and stroked; but if you feel uptight and defensive, if you fear being touched, then you'll react against it. The slightest touch will feel ticklish. Of course it might make you laugh but it certainly won't arouse you. You need to learn to relax if you're to fully enjoy the erotic experience - and of course tell your partner which bits actually turn you on.

7. Many people don't enjoy continued sexual stimulation after orgasm. Why is this?

Many men and women find that, after orgasm, the head of the penis and the clitoris can become extremely sensitive and further stimulation can be painful. Such hypersensitivity is caused by increased blood flow to the area. Before you can resume sexual activity, you'll need to rest a while.

Men have a "refractory period," following ejaculation. During this phase - which varies in length from individual to individual - it is impossible for the man to achieve another erection. Most women don't have a refractory period and, unless they experience clitoral hypersensitivity, are capable of immediately enjoying further sexual stimulation.

8. Are breasts an erogenous zone for all women? And does stimulation make them larger?

Most men love to fondle their partner's breasts but women don't always enjoy it. Some even find it painful particularly, at certain stages of their menstrual cycle when their breasts can become swollen. Others are too self-conscious to enjoy their lover's caresses. They worry that their breasts don't conform to the feminine ideal (they're too big or too small) and they're embarrassed by the attention.

During foreplay, the breasts get bigger and slightly harder. These changes are caused by increased blood flow to the breasts during arousal. After orgasm, everything returns to normal and the breasts revert to their former size.

9. Can women who have undergone genital excision, achieve orgasm?

Genital excision or mutilation is a procedure to remove the clitoris. Because the clitoris is so fundamental to female sexual pleasure, it can be difficult for a woman who has undergone an excision to experience orgasm. However, she shouldn't give up: it is still possible for her to achieve orgasm.

Even if the entire clitoris has been removed, stimulation of other erogenous zones may still be enough to result in orgasm. But, as is the case for all women, the best guarantee of sexual success is a relationship in which you feel happy and secure.

10. Apparently erogenous zones develop during childhood, how does this happen?

Studies show that those children who enjoy physical contact with their parents when growing up, have more fulfilling sex lives as adults. However, we're talking about appropriate physical contact and not sexual stimulation! A child needs affection in order to thrive and the kisses, cuddles and hugs he gets from his parents will, naturally, make him more tactile and responsive to touch.

More importantly, however, they'll help engender feelings of security and self confidence so that he feels loved and accepted for what he is. And it's these feelings of security and self-confidence, rather than any physical response to touch, that will help him achieve a happy and satisfying sex life.

Posted 30.06.2010

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