Light up your sensuality with lacy lingerie
Whether it’s white lace panties, a red retro corset or a black lacy bra, how is it that women are so fascinated, and men so turned on, by sexy underwear?
© Thinkstock
Lingerie has been eroticized and glorified for the last few decades and saying that men are fond of it would be an understatement. Sexy and lacy undies have made a remarkable comeback to the great delight of both women and men.
So, if you plan to buy yourself or your sweetheart a special gift, why not invest in some luxurious lacy lingerie?
Why men love lingerie
Although men account for only about 4% of annual purchases of women’s underwear, they are fervent admirers of those tiny pieces of finely woven cloth. “Lingerie is one of men’s greatest fantasies,” explains Alain Héril, a French psychotherapist and author of the Dictionnaire des fantasmes érotiques (Dictionary of erotic fantasies). He goes on to say that, “Lacy lingerie hides more than it reveals and we’re all attracted by whatever’s concealed.”
And so, lingerie contributes to the erotic game of desiring one’s partner and letting oneself be desired by him, making it a major vehicle of sexual desire and drive. However, taking lingerie fantasies to extremes can turn them into obsessions or fetishes, even causing a man to find himself incapable of holding a naked woman in his arms.
Alain Héril further explains that, “In pathological cases, men who ascribe too much significance to lingerie may even dread physical contact with their partners and make underwear a sort of barrier between their bodies. These men often experience sexual difficulties when their partners undress completely.”
Sometimes, lingerie is eroticized to the point that it may, in the eyes of the man, relegate the woman wearing it to secondary status, so that a plastic dummy would elicit the same sexual desire! The lingerie is magnified, the woman ignored. Remember that there is an actual person in this lace underwear!
Why women love fine lingerie
There is an almost self-erotic dimension to buying oneself fine lacy lingerie. It promotes a sense of desiring oneself, perceiving oneself as being desirable and signalling one’s desire all at the same time. “This benefits men as well as women, whose enhanced self-perception facilitates sensual and sexual contact.”
This is unmistakably reflected in advertisements, where women are invariably shown without men looking at them, because lingerie is also an individual treat for women who enjoy looking great. To simplify the matter, one could say that men project their sexual fantasies onto female lingerie, while women care more about their own sensuality.
Tastes and colours in lingerie
When it comes to women’s lingerie, men and women are not always on the same page. Though they certainly enjoy top-of-the-line lingerie, women tend to prefer comfortable undergarments for everyday life – and all the women reading this know why! Lacy, sexy underwear is not always the most comfortable and could be OK for bedroom wear, but not for a full day of running about. Fortunately, many lingerie designers are women, so you can now buy gorgeous lace bras that give off that hint of sensuality under a sheer blouse, but with full support and comfort.
As for men, they’re more into petite lacy balcony bras and knickers, the classic retro corset (think Dita Von Teese) and of course the lace-topped mid-thigh sheer or fishnet stocking. Fortunately, common ground can be found. Whether upon suggestion or deliberately, few women will recoil from the idea of wearing fine sexy lingerie, either to please their lover or to seal the ultimate seduction of a new partner.
There is a vast range of colours to choose from for panties and other undergarments. White is pure, candid and virginal but might not be the best pick for men, who generally prefer vivid blood red, the colour of passion and sex, or black, which is associated with mysterious women and the “femme fatale”. Some will want to try yellow, a dynamic colour that might well embolden timid lovers, orange, the colour of sexual desire in the Indian tradition of tantric love, or even a vivid and sexy pink. Only one rule: avoid purple, which, however seductive, is the colour of spirituality and could give your love a meditative and platonic quality rather than a sensual one.
Go for chic and luxurious underwear rather than plain-coloured, minimalist undergarments. Opt for embroidered tulles, silk and lace underwear, multi-layered and/or partially transparent items, embroidery and light beading. In a word, be sexy – for yourself and him!
Copyright © 2012 Doctissimo
Posted 17.02.2012
Get more on this subject…
