How can we make our orgasms more intense?
Are intense night-long lovemaking sessions and multiple orgasms only possible for those who are exceptionally gifted lovers? Not at all! Both women and men can have multiple orgasms… You just need a bit of training.
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Orgasms can be good or mind-blowing, and for many, multiple orgasms are even better! Some people are prepared to do anything to multiply, prolong and intensify their orgasms: studying up, getting into intimate gymnastic exercises or trying out acrobatic sex positions...
What can a man do just before orgasm?
The less in control of ejaculation a man is, the less pleasure he attains. He therefore needs to try and control his orgasm (by slowing things down when he feels on that point of no return), in order to increase arousal without ejaculating. By delaying orgasm, a man can increase its intensity. Men who really want to multiply orgasms need to learn to control their ejaculation and manage their pleasure.
Real techniques do exist, often taken from the principles of Tantric teachings. It’s a good idea to read books or articles on the subject, such as Barbara Keesling’s “Sexual Pleasure”, brimming with advice to try out alone or as a couple.
What can a woman do just before orgasm?
In order to accelerate orgasm and better feel her partner, a woman can contract her vaginal muscles around her partner’s penis sporadically during penetration. Although physically possible for any woman, it is quite difficult to truly “train” yourself to have multiple orgasms.
Firstly, it requires a woman to be receptive to the concept. After the first crucial moment of orgasm, a woman needs to want to continue her search for other sensations rather than bury herself within this primary sensation of pleasure... and of course, her partner needs to still be in a fit state to continue!
Some useful exercises to improve orgasm
According to sexologist Marie-Hélène Colson, the main advantage of “sexual muscle building” is not really to learn miracle techniques or recipes for success (they don’t exist!), but instead be better aware of one’s body and sexual organs, to banish inhibitions.
- Kegel exercises: entails contracting the pelvic floor muscles as you would to stop urinating. When urinating, you can try stopping mid-way to work out which muscles are involved. Do not do this too often however as you may risk not emptying your bladder properly and causing urinary tract infections.
- Dr Barbara Keesling’s advice (American sexologist and author of 'The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex'): pelvic and lower abdominal movements can help to control arousal. The principle involves broad movements to increase sexual tension and lighter movements to decrease sexual tension. Lying down, legs apart, raise your buttocks off the floor. Undulate your pelvis and hips in a continual and sensual motion, holding your stomach in all the while. Touch yourself intimately and when you begin to feel the pleasure rise, slow down and start to touch yourself again to increase arousal, then slow down, then start again... thus learning to modulate and adjust stimulation at your pleasure.
Saying no to orgasmic fundamentalism
Many women, despite feeling completely satisfied with their sexuality, are afraid of missing out on something even more “mind-blowing”. They sometimes even put themselves down for being more clitoral than vaginal (clitoral pleasure was long considered less significant...). Rest assured and most importantly stop thinking that there is such a thing as a good or bad orgasm: the important thing is to feel good and enjoy yourself!
Men often put themselves down too. Some worry that they don’t give their partner an orgasm, or feel pressured into performing over and above their capacities or desire, because they realise that their partner can have multiple orgasms. Not a far cry from sexual dictatorship!
There is one thing that all sexologists are unanimous about. Making sex all about performance effort and sexual gymnastics means that you end up not letting go properly and not really living in the present moment! So keep things in perspective and enjoy!
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 01.12.2010
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