Yes, to women’s sexual pleasure!
As a consequence of male-dominated sexuality, female pleasure spent a long time in the dark. But thankfully today, the “passive participant” stereotype has given way to proactive and openly pleasure-seeking women…
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More complex than male pleasure, female orgasm long remained a mystery – or for some, non-existent. But that has all changed and today’s women are claiming their right to sexual pleasure!
Women assert their right to pleasure
100 years ago, people thought that female orgasm didn’t exist and that women who enjoyed sex were mentally deranged. Today in a total volte-face, women are bombarded daily with advice about how to reach sexual seventh heaven and mind-blowing orgasms. How can this sexual (r)evolution be explained?
Female sexuality had long been theorised only by men who had reduced it all to the concept of a “weaker sex”. Men on the other hand, claiming terms such as “the stronger sex” or “the dominant sex”...
Luckily the advent of feminism has enabled women to talk amongst themselves about their intimate experiences and not just suffer the male vision of their own sexuality and bodies. And so, over the last 20-40 years, the true aspects of female sexuality have now come to light.
Over and above the recognition of these differences in male and female sexuality, only the advent of real sexual communication can open the path to more mutual pleasure for both partners.
The ultimate pleasure: female orgasm
Quite different from male orgasm, a female orgasm can take longer to achieve. Is this an easy excuse for those who too quickly forego foreplay or are inexpert in love? This is not far from what Dr Gérard Leleu believes, given that 95% of women can achieve orgasm in just a few minutes by self-stimulation of the clitoris.
Dr Leleu believes that female orgasm becomes an issue when the other sex is involved. “Problems occur when a man is involved and particularly during intercourse,” states Dr Leleu. “Not all men are competent in this domain”. But making the effort is more than rewarded, as female orgasm is stronger than the male version.
Female orgasm is like a wave, a brewing storm of pleasure, which is not just limited to the genital area but envelopes the whole body. Psychiatrist and sexologist Philippe Brenot describes the phenomenon in his literary work: “Orgasm begins with rhythmic contractions of the uterus and external vaginal area, the zone called the 'orgasmic platform’, and also the anal region. The contractions, first intense and close together (one every 0.8 seconds), become progressively weaker but spread to other parts of the body. Several muscles contract with the orgasm and the sensation seems to be like a moment ‘suspended’ in time before a feeling of intense pleasure”.
Another advantage is that women can have multiple orgasms while men can only have one orgasm at a time! So who is the “weaker sex” now?
From sexual stereotypes to sexual pleasure
“Being more aware of your body and your partner’s,” is the best way to getting mutual sexual pleasure. To help you get there, you first need to combat a load of obstinate little preconceived ideas and stereotypes. Here’s some help to detect these prejudices that can block the path to relaxed and pleasurable sex.
- Passively waiting for Prince Charming: Inherited from the tales of “Sleeping Beauty” or “Cinderella”, women are often portrayed as lying in wait for their Prince Charming to arrive. By extension, passive women tend to wait for their lover to make decisions or to be in the mood. Stop right there! Women should no longer hesitate to express their desires freely and openly, participating actively in their sex lives! Today’s less macho modern man is normally ready to listen and learn…
- Overthinking clitoral-vaginal duality: This distinction from the Freudian vision of sex is still used too often. Freud believed that clitoral orgasm, linked to the clitoris meant psychic immaturity, a childish type of orgasm. On the other hand, vaginal orgasm was considered as being adult. Today, better understanding of how the female body works has helped to put an end to this theory. There is only one type of orgasm, always focused on the clitoris; vaginal orgasm is just a deeper amplification of this clitoral orgasm. Whether triggered by clitoral stimulation, rubbing of the vaginal labia or penetration, orgasmic pleasure is more a result of letting oneself go than a geographic pleasure ranking of a woman’s body. Who cares where it comes from, just enjoy it!
- G-spot limitations: The very much-discussed G-spot is a little point located behind the pubic bone inside the vagina. Particularly richly irrigated by blood vessels, it has often been described as THE erogenous zone on a woman’s body. Do be aware though, finding the G-spot does not automatically mean the discovery of pleasure. Female orgasm can take on many different forms, and conditioning it to pure G-spot stimulation is pretty restrictive, just as is the illusion of thinking that the G-spot is like an "orgasm on-switch".
In conclusion, female pleasure comes in many forms, as do the ways of reaching orgasm. Vaginal or clitoral orgasm, touch, masturbation, G-spot… break all theses taboos and discover a pleasurable and fulfilling sex life.
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 09.09.2011
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