Paths to female orgasm
Orgasm: the end outcome of a sexual encounter? Yes, but all the pleasure experienced on the road leading up to orgasm shouldn't be neglected... Touch, mutual exchange, words expressing desire and pleasure; these are all elements which help to feel free and trusting enough to lose control and reach orgasm.
© Jupiter
A feeling of plenitude, satiation, inner freedom... Reaching orgasmic seventh heaven has as many definitions as there are women in the world. But, orgasm is not an obligation and pleasure comes in a multitude of varieties, all a source of wellbeing. Check out our little pleasure manual for couples.
How do I know if I have had an orgasm?
An orgasm is pleasure of varying intensity (according to each sexual relation), recognised amongst other things by a feeling of plenitude and, for varying amounts of time, a feeling of fulfilment.
Why can't I reach orgasm?
Desire and pleasure are part of foreplay; sexual pleasure builds and then can sometimes stop, like a blocked pathway. Increasing sexual pleasure can be associated with feelings of pain which interrupt those feelings of wellbeing. What can you do? This often happens as a consequence of needing to control situations and to not feel overwhelmed. You can feel afraid of losing control, both physically and mentally, or even fear what the other person will think. Allowing yourself to let go is vital, self-confidence and trusting your partner are essential.
Who cares what triggers it, as long as there's an orgasm
Here's the big question: which is real orgasm, clitoral or vaginal? The clitoris is the specific organ of orgasm in women; this is its sole function in fact. A woman who can reach clitoral orgasm but doesn't feel much during penetration is not incapable of orgasm and is far from frigid.
The vagina does not contain a specific organ for orgasm as the clitoris does. During penetration, the relationship with the other person is just as important as vaginal stimulation. Coital movements make pleasure increase in waves, with a sensation of completeness and being at one with your partner. For some women, the pounding sensation of the penis on the cervix can give pleasure. During penetration, pleasure is increased by clitoral stimulation, either by hand or body movements which vary according to the sexual position.
Discovering orgasm
Masturbation makes it easier to reach orgasm. It's sometimes also necessary to stimulate other erogenous zones like the breasts. Explore pleasure without modesty. This exploration can sometimes take time. Don't rush it and let yourself try various different types of touch.
Sometimes pleasure does come, but the "blockage" can only be removed through persistence and stimulation. After this solo discovery, it is easier to guide your partner and find the path to pleasure together. During vaginal penetration, pleasure seeking can be more subtle and enhances with time.
The importance of your partner's role
Sexual relations shouldn't be shortened by too quick an ejaculation, as women need time to feel pleasure. Men can become discouraged, seeing that their partner doesn't feel pleasure can make them cut short intercourse. For others, premature ejaculation can hinder orgasm during sex.
Copyright © 2009 Doctissimo
Posted 30.06.2010
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