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Women’s sexuality after 60

We’re younger for longer these days and age and the menopause is no longer a biological catastrophe that marginalises women, projecting them into the golden oldies club, excluded from life’s pleasures.

Women’s sexuality after 60
© Thinkstock

Romantic, erotic and sexual adventure is still possible and often proves to be of excellent quality with nothing holding an older woman back.

That being said, for a woman, age and the menopause, accompanied by the rapid upheaval of her hormonal balance in the space of a few months, clearly define a "before" and "after" stage in her sexuality.

Physical changes occur and can and risk hindering her sex life, such as vaginal dryness, which can make sex unpleasant or painful; tissue slackening can lead to "pelvic organ prolapse" hampering penetration; breast changes can put a dent in her self-image. But there is plenty of good news too...

Older women’s reactions to their changing sexuality

Some older women will resign themselves to the idea that sex is too complicated, especially if it was already difficult during their younger years and didn’t provide much pleasure or was uninteresting. The temptation is great to give sex up and devote yourself to more gratifying activities: grandchildren, volunteering, travelling... There are so many things that your busy family and professional life prevented you from doing before, there’s so much to do!

Sometimes the menopause and related issues offer a long-awaited excuse to finally say farewell to a sex life that was suffered rather than enjoyed.

But many women have the opposite reaction: treatments exist to keep the body in shape; lubricants and hormones help to overcome most of the disadvantages of ageing. And if a woman’s earlier sex life has been good, it’s a part of her life she won’t want to give up as it provides emotional and sensual wellbeing and pleasure.

An older woman's new breath of sexuality

While some older women imagine that they no longer comply with social models of seduction and secretly feel guilty about their erotic desires, others feel liberated and discover with surprise - like an unexpected gift - their still desirable and sensitive body has an imagination overflowing with ideas and fantasies. Now unhampered by reproduction worries (contraception concerns long gone!), sex can be a real pleasure.

Having extra time for you helps can also provide impetus to finally confronting and resolving certain past frustrations. Surveys show that quite a few women have more orgasms after the menopause and some even experience orgasm for the first time! Moreover, the many possibilities to meet people through associations and social activities means that solitude is no longer an inevitability; romance and erotic adventure are still possible and often prove to be of good quality with nothing (work or children) standing in the way.

Even though the effects of ageing and illness are very different from one woman to another, the actual level of freedom experienced is often higher than imagined before being faced with any really debilitating health issues.

Remaining attractive, wanting to seduce (an existing or new partner), and having orgasmsall bring pleasure to life and nourish future projects and ongoing happiness.

Posted 01.09.2010

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